What Contributes to Women Experiencing low Libido?

May 26, 2023

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It is common to experience a low sex drive from time to time. Everybody does because our libido naturally varies throughout different stages of our relationships and lives. Still, loss of libido can be more than just an occasional issue for some women.

Why Women Fake It?

According to the findings of one study, 76% of women have faked an orgasm at least once, whereas only 41% of men have admitted to having done the same. Respondents indicated not enjoying sex is one of the primary reasons for faking an orgasm. Also, some women report faking it to end unwanted sex.

If you have no interest in sex, seldom or never have sexual fantasies, or have low sexual desire, you may experience a loss of libido or low sexual desire.

What Factors Influence Women’s Sexual Desire?

Various factors can contribute to low sexual desire in women. Understanding what contributes to your or your partner’s lack of sexual desire could help improve your well-being, increase intimacy, and help your relationship thrive.

This is something that intimacy counseling can help with. If your low sexual drive impedes your everyday life, mood, and relationship, couples therapy might be a safe environment to explore the underlying causes, foster open communication, set realistic expectations, and strengthen emotional intimacy with your partner.

But in the first place, counseling can help you identify and address underlying issues and get the proper treatment. Let us look into the potential underlying factors contributing to low sexual desire in women.

Cultural Factors

Cultural and societal norms, attitudes, and beliefs about sex can heavily impact how women perceive and express their sexuality. As a result, how we are raised significantly influences how we express our sexuality.

For instance, males in the majority of world cultures have traditionally been encouraged to show their sexuality in a more outward way. Yet, at the same time, women have been told implicitly or explicitly that they should suppress their natural sexual desire or, at the very least, control how they display sexuality.

When their sexuality is stigmatized, many women may experience guilt or shame regarding their sexual desires and struggle with their libido as a result. Things become even more complex if you belong to the LGBTQ+ community. Self-criticism regarding your sexuality can be mentally and emotionally draining, potentially resulting in self-doubt, diminished self-esteem, and other mental health challenges. In addition, the stigma surrounding sexuality may cause you to experience guilt, shame, insecurity, and self-loathing, making it challenging to enjoy sexual experiences and express yourself fully.

Psychological Well-Being

A woman’s emotional and psychological well-being significantly affects her libido. Stress, anxiety, body-image issues, low self-esteem, and depression can all contribute to low sexual desire.

For example, many women feel mentally and physically exhausted after childbirth. As a result, it is not unusual to feel unable to relax and enjoy sex after having a baby. Similarly, body self-consciousness and physical discomfort with your own body might have a negative impact on your sexual life.

Additionally, past and unresolved trauma may cause you to lack sexual desire and avoid intimacy.

Hormonal Changes

Hormonal imbalances are common during pregnancy, after childbirth, and in menopause might impact your sexual desire. For example, unbalanced estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone levels can result in reduced libido, making women less interested in having sex.

Female Sexual Dysfunction

Female sexual dysfunction, or FSD, is a condition that causes a decrease in sexual desire, difficulty with arousal and achieving orgasm, and/or pain during sexual stimulation.

FSD can cause personal distress and issues in your relationship. However, various therapies are available to help with the psychological and emotional symptoms associated with sexual dysfunction. These include sex therapy, individual or couples counseling, cognitive behavioral therapy, relaxation techniques, and medication therapy.


Chronic stress, exhaustion, a lack of sleep, and general tiredness can lower your sex drive. In addition, work and life demands, caregiving challenges, financial strain, major life changes, or relationship issues can all play a role in reducing your sexual desire.

The Quality of a Relationship

The quality of your relationship can significantly affect your sexual desire. For example, communication issues, a lack of emotional connection, and different sexual needs can dramatically affect your relationship satisfaction and, consequently, your libido.

Addressing your relationship problems may be the first step in overcoming problems with a lack of sexual desire and fostering healthy intimacy. Low libido can cause distress and negatively impact your quality of life, so seeking support from a professional may be the best choice. A qualified sex therapist can help you identify and understand factors that contribute to low sexual desire, strengthen open communication between you and your partner, and improve your connection, allowing you to enjoy sex in a relaxed and fulfilling way.

Let’s connect soon so we can set up a consultation.

Filippo M. Forni, LMFT is an individual and couples therapist in Los Angeles, CA. His goal is to provide high-quality and effective goal-oriented therapy services to the Los Angeles and Century City community. He has extensive training in sexuality and multiculturalism and serves as an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University Graduate School of Education and Psychology.