Worried That You’ve Fallen Out Of Love With Your Significant Other?
Has a lack of intimacy in your marriage or partnership caused you to grow apart as a couple? Do you turn away from—instead of toward—one another? And are you looking to reconnect or spice up your sex life?
Your relationship has lost its spark. No longer emotionally or physically intimate with one another, you feel distant from your partner. Maybe this distance manifests as frequent arguing, avoidance, lack of sex or quality time together, and general feelings of isolation.
Yet, when you try to address these challenges as a couple, you may become defensive or blame your partner for the problems in the relationship. Unable to problem-solve together, you may wonder if reconciliation is even possible.
So, How Did The Flame Get Extinguished?
Every relationship experiences setbacks and distance between partners is a common issue. There are many reasons why the two of you may have grown apart, including life transitions, incompatibility in communication styles, or a breach of trust.
You and your partner may have recently experienced a significant stressor, including a job loss or change, relocation, death in the family, or birth of a new child. Or perhaps you are navigating certain cultural barriers that have put undue stress on the relationship. If there has been infidelity, your partnership likely struggles with ongoing shame, anger, and lack of intimacy.
Alternatively, you may feel as though your physical and emotional needs are not being met in the relationship. Whether you’re curious about exploring new elements like kink and polyamory or simply wanting to spice things up in the bedroom, couples counseling can be a gateway to heightened passion and pleasure.
Working together, I can help you overcome hurdles, embrace your desires, and reconnect as a couple in therapy.
Emotional Disconnect And Desire Discrepancy Are Highly Related
Relationships have lives of their own; over the course of our partnerships, we change, shift, and grow as individuals. Amidst these changes, we choose to either turn toward—or away from—our partner.
Unfortunately, when conflict or disconnection arise, we can be quick to blame the other person or avoid taking responsibility for our role in the relationship. It’s not easy to admit that we have to work and grow, so we’d rather pin all of the wrongdoing on our partner. In doing this, we fail to realize that healthy partnerships take consistency and commitment.
Many of us weren’t taught effective coping strategies, and we often feel as though what we have to say will not be well received, so why bother? Yet, when expectations are not properly expressed between partners, we can inadvertently invite misunderstanding, mistrust, and a devaluing of one another into the relationship.
With the trained, objective third-party perspective of a couples therapist, a deeper, less blame-oriented awareness of the relationship is possible. By working with your partner in counseling to acknowledge your role in the cycle of disconnect, you can rekindle your relationship and become closer than ever before as a couple.
An Affirming, Sex-Positive, And Effective Approach To Couples Therapy
At Century City Counseling, I welcome couples of all genders, orientations, and desires to therapy. Whether you’re in a long-term marriage or embarking on new beginnings together, counseling can help you get on the same page with your partner(s). My goal is to help you explore, identify, and express your individual wants and needs so that you can come together as a team to create the relationship that you want.
What To Expect
While I primarily take a solution-focused approach as a therapist—helping you work toward future goals as a couple—there is something to be said for mining past experiences to develop new awareness and understanding. In reflecting on how dynamics from your childhood may be playing out in your current relationship, you can attune yourself to specific pain points, patterns, and triggers. With this insight, you and your partner(s) can learn how to support each other better and navigate conflict more effectively.
In addition, my approach to therapy helps couples to feel more authentic and secure in their relationships. Counseling itself is a practice in vulnerability, and when you and your partner(s) can master that vulnerability, you can deepen emotional and physical intimacy. Ultimately, I will guide you in identifying the origins of your issues and collaborating on solutions together—even if that means finding a way to amicably separate.
Through couples counseling, you and your partner(s) can set and achieve shared goals. Learning to see one another’s experience from an empathetic perspective will allow you to increase healthy communication and boundary-setting. As a result of these positive changes, your partnership is likely to experience more pleasure, passion, and connection.
Perhaps you haven’t fallen out of love after all. In couples therapy at Century City Counseling, you can develop a refreshed perspective on your relationship and rekindle the spark that you thought was lost.
Maybe You’re Considering Couples Counseling But Still Aren’t Sure…
Will we ever feel desire towards each other again?
It’s very possible that you will. People grow and evolve over time, sometimes drifting apart from one another. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to cultivate intimacy in the relationship, fostering a deeper awareness of your and your partner’s emotional, physical, spiritual, and intimate needs.
Couples therapy gives you an opportunity to become open, re-learn about one another, and improve the chances of that spark and desire returning.
Can we spice things up?
Many couples fall into a monotonous sexual routine after many years together. However, there are certainly things you can do to spice up your sex life. Because I am a trained sex therapist, I will invite open communication about your desires, fantasies, and pleasures into couples therapy so that you can explore passions and get closer in your relationship.
How do we open our marriage?
Polyamory, open marriages, and “swinging” require a lot of consideration and thought from both parties. Effective communication, consent, openness, and trust are essential to a healthy open relationship, as are meaningful boundaries. It’s important that neither of you feels pressured into something you’re not entirely committed to.
Couples therapy is a chance to explore this territory together and develop the skills you need for a successful open marriage.
Fall In Love With Each Other All Over Again
Couples therapy at Century City Counseling gives you and your partner(s) an opportunity to explore curiosities, overcome obstacles, and develop a new understanding of each other.
To find out more about my approach as a couples therapist, contact me.
Emotional Neglect in Adult Relationships
Emotional neglect is a pattern of behavior in a relationship in which a person's attachment figure consistently ignores or disrespects a person's emotional needs. Even in the absence of visible traumatic events, emotional neglect is still a type of abuse. It may be...
Reparenting Yourself to Ease Anxiety
Do you have trouble saying "no," expressing your feelings, and meeting your needs in relationships? Are you overwhelmed by shame, guilt, and resentment? Are you overly self-critical, believing you don't deserve love or success? Do you ponder past mistakes and missed...
The Role of Couples Counseling in Infertility Treatment
Helping couples process and sort out the difficulties associated with the complications of conceiving a child.